“Why are we going to Capsule Corp?” Piccolo asked.  He was flying next to Gohan, and letting the sunset ahead blind him.

“You will see,” Gohan said, speeding up.

“I hate surprises,” Piccolo reminded Gohan.  Piccolo sped up as well.

 “Surprise!” everyone yelled as Piccolo entered the room.

“What the heck?” Piccolo asked.

“Don’t you like this surprise?” Gohan asked, pointing to the party’s food, people, and gifts.

“What the heck is going on?” Piccolo asked.

“We decided to throw a party for our ugliest friend,” Trunks joked.

“It is your birthday,” Goku said.  “This day, a long time ago, I killed your father, and you were spat out like horrid food, intent on destroying me.”

“That reminds me, why haven’t I killed you yet?’ Piccolo asked Goku.

“Because he is Gohan’s father, and a Super-Saiya-jin,” Vegita said.

“Why hasn’t Bulma killed you?” Piccolo asked.

“Why, I ought to…” Vegita growled.  Bulma gave him a shot, and he collapsed.

“So, what do you want for your birthday?” Krillin asked.

“To be left alone,” Piccolo grumbled.

“Ah, where is your party spirit?” Tien asked.

“I sold it to Chaozou for five bucks,” Piccolo said.  “Seriously.”

“It is a piece of crap, too,” Chaozou commented.

“No, what do you want Piccolo?” Bulma asked.  “I have a capsule for everything.”

“I know!” Trunks said.  He blurred away, and reappeared a moment later.  He handed a blue paper to Bulma.

“Hey, give that back, you pick-pocket!” Piccolo growled.

“Oh, loosen up,” Gohan said.  “You’re tighter-wound than Vegita!”

“What does he want?’ Chi-chi demanded.

“Well, according to the list, new weighted clothing,” Bulma said.

“I was right!” Yamcha said, getting up.  He grabbed a present from a pile, and handed it to Piccolo.  “Open it.”

“Why?” Piccolo asked.

“Just do it,” Yamcha pleaded.

“Fine,” Piccolo said, unwrapping the present.  His eyes lit up.  “Thanks,” he whispered.  In his hands were a brand-new cape, complete with 500-pound shoulder pads, and a 250-pound turban.

“What else does he want?” Tien asked.

“Um…candy,” the shocked Bulma said.  “I didn’t think that Nameks ate.”

“We don’t have to,” Piccolo corrected.

“Mom, I told you that it would be fine,” Goten said.  He handed another present to Piccolo.

“What is it??” Piccolo asked.

“Open it!” Goten begged.

“Alright,” Piccolo said.  He opened the present, and shoved it in his mouth.  “Tasty!” he mumbled.

“Glad you like it,” Goten said.

“Um…thanks,” Piccolo mumbled.

“How come he gets candy?” Vegita asked.  Bulma gave him another shot.

“Next,” Bulma said.  “A book called Meditation and You.”

“Here Piccolo,” Chi-chi said.

“Thanks,” Piccolo said, already knowing what it was.  “Now I will learn how to insult Vegita so fast that he can’t think up comebacks,” Piccolo announced.

“What?” Vegita asked, standing up.  “Impossible.”

    Piccolo flipped through the book, speed-reading.  He got into his meditation position.  “Here it goes,” Piccolo said.  “Vegita, you are so ugly that Bulma only married you because she feels sorry for you.  You are weaker than a third-class warrior!  I am prettier than you, as is your son!  You are stupid!”

    Vegita was frozen with fear, clutching his ears.  “No!” he shouted.  “It isn’t true!”  He curled up, and sucked his thumb.

“Does he want anything else?” Gohan asked.

“How cute!” Bulma exclaimed.  “A puppy!”

“Well, I am sorry, but no one got you a puppy,” Goku said.

“What about a monkey?” Piccolo asked.

“You can have Trunks,” Vegita offered.

“What?” Trunks demanded.

“Piccolo would make a better son that you,” Vegita stated.

“Take that back!” Goten ordered.

“Vegita!” Bulma hollered.

“I also want a house with a television, computer, bed, and kitchen,” Piccolo said, getting caught up in receiving gifts.

“Here,” Bulma said, handing Piccolo a capsule.  “What?”

“What what?” Yamcha asked.

“He wants me to learn to cook!” Bulma shrieked.

    Chi-chi grabbed the list.  “He wants me to calm down!”

“Umm…” Piccolo spoke, trying to lighten the mood for more gifts.

“Why you!” Chi-chi screamed, tackling Piccolo.

“Get off!” Picoclo shouted.

“Let me see this list,” Vegita said.  “You want me dead?”  Goku rushed in and knocked Vegita out, before any untimely Armageddon.

“Piccolo, why do you want such things?” Gohan asked.  He grabbed the list, and burst into tears.  Everyone turned to him.  “Piccolo is crazy!  He wants to be the mayor of Satan City!”  Everyone burst into laughter, except for Piccolo.  Gohan continued.  “He wants me!  He wants Freiza!”

“That is understandable,” Vegita joked.  “They both lead the same lifestyle!”

“He also wants his own dragonballs!” Gohan said.

“That is enough!” Piccolo shouted, getting up.  He grabbed his gifts.  “This is the last time that I let you give me gifts!”  He flew off.

“That was scary,” Goku commented.

“If he wanted my son, I would kill him,” Vegita said.

“He wants Freiza,” Yamcha muttered.  Everyone, except for Tien and Chaozou, cracked up in laughter.

“So do we!” Tien and Chaozou said.

“I am surprised he didn’t want Ginyu,” Vegita said, rolling on the ground.

“He had Ginyu!” Tien said.  “Aren’t you surprised by what we said a moment ago?”

“We already knew that,” Ch-chi said.