Vegita burst into the living room, and plopped on the couch.  He flipped the channels, looking for something good.  He stopped on Animal World.  After hours of viewing, his hypnotized mind made him go outside.

“Vegita!” Bulma shouted.

“What?” Vegita asked.  Vegita had just got in the door.

“Where the heck have you been for the past day?” Bulma demanded.

“I don’t know,” Vegita replied.  “Maybe some television will help my memory.”  He sat on the couch, and turned on the television.  Again he stopped on Animal World.

“Today’s regularly scheduled ‘Crocodile Chaser’ has been set for another air time.  Steve Dirnin, the Crocodile Hunter, has just brought us new video.  We will be airing that instead of the regular ‘Crocodile Chaser’ today.”

“What?  My favorite program not on?” Vegita shouted.

“Well, let’s watch,” Bulma said.  “This could be interesting.”

“Hi, what’s up?” Trunks asked, walking into the room.

“ ‘Crocodile Chaser’ has been cut for something,” Vegita growled.

“What?” Trunks asked.  “Why would they cut that?  Oh, I must find out!”  He sat on the couch with his parents.

    (The following is what occurs on the television.)

Dirnin:  (In ULTRA heavy Australian accent, in the most highly annoying variation) “Today’s episode has been moved to allow this new video to be shown.  I just captured it in the jungles of Southeast Asia!”

    The screen witches to a wobbly camera shot.  The scene is a thick jungle.  Creatures can be heard all about.  Dirnin is on the ground, trying to agitate a snake.

Dirnin:  “This is such a venomous snake!  I am going to get it to show me its fangs!”

    The camera is knocked onto its side.  Dirnin rushes to aid the fallen videographer, off camera.  A scream is heard, and Dirnin is thrown into a tree in camera view.  Vegita, dressed as Dirnin in safari clothes, walks in front of the camera.  He sits next to the snake, and spits on it.  The snake lunges at Vegita, but Vegita blasts it to HFIL.

Vegita:  Croickey, this critter tried to bite me!  It just goes to show that you must always be careful around Earth creatures!

    Vegita walks deeper into the jungle.  Dirnin recovers and grabs the camera from the dead cameraman.  He slowly follows Vegita at a good distance.

Dirnin:  (Quietly.) I have no idea as to what this monster is!  It killed my camera operator, so I am now filming.  I think that my life may be in grave danger, for this varmint gave me quite a bruising!  But I will go on.

    The scene is now a murky lake lined with vegetation.  Vegita jumps in.  Dirnin lies in the plants, and points his camera out, getting a shot of Vegita.

Vegita:  Croickey, this place must be filled with crocs!

    Vegita dives under, and comes up again in just a moment.  He is holding a large crocodile, which is flailing about.

Vegita:  This is one violent puppy!  The key to restraining them is not being as weak as a human!

Dirnin:  Holy mackeral!  He is restraining that croc with ease!  He isn’t even sweating!

    The croc breaks free, and bites Vegita’s left fist.  Vegita goes Super-Saiya-jin and blasts the thing away.  He powers down, and again dives under.

Dirnin:  Wow!  He just blew that croc to bits!  And he changed his hair color!  This is one unique but deadly animal!  I must investigate further!

    Vegita comes up again, holding another croc.  The croc struggles but Vegita holds it tight.

Vegita:  Blimey, this is a violent sucker!  Now, watch closely, cause this might only work for a minute.  Look at the teeth.

    Vegita sticks his right arm in the animal’s mouth and pries it open.  He sticks his head in the mouth and points to the teeth.

Vegita:  Look at these babies!  Imagine how much damage these could do to you if this guy was mad!

    Vegita removes his head and arm.  He grabs the croc and throws it over the horizon.  A big snake suddenly wraps around Vegita.

Vegita:  Man, this guy caught me off guard.  It looks to me like this guy is hunting and hasn’t eaten in a while.

    Vegita pries the snake’s mouth open and climbs inside.  The snake begins to swallow Vegita.

Dirnin:  What in the world is he doing?  He is going to get killed!

    Vegita emerges from the snake’s mouth holding something.  He is covered is gunk but is smiling.

Vegita:  This here is a piece of food that is still not digested!  I am guessing that this guy has an eating disorder.  This food is at least a year old, and he was stupid enough to try to eat me!  Final Flash!

    Vegita’s attack kicks about animals and plants.  Dirnin is amazed and tries to hold his position.  The camera is violently buffeted by the outflow of the blast.

Dirnin:  This is a very dangerous situation!  This animal seems to be on a killing spree and maybe mentally impaired.  I am going to get closer.

    Vegita moves deeper into the jungle.  Dirnin follows.  The scene is now a roaring waterfall with Piccolo meditating in front of it.

Vegita:  (Loudly) This place may be beautiful but that is the trick.  The creature here is very dangerous.  He is a Namek.  Namek’s live in beautiful places, where many creatures roam.  However, the Namek’s ugliness is a sign of its superiority.  I think nature screwed up on them.  Anyways, Namek’s are very strong.

    Piccolo taps Vegita’s shoulder.  Vegita turns to see a Special Beam Cannon ready for delivery.

Piccolo:  Want to run?

Vegita:  Another interesting thing about Nameks is that they occasionally associate with low-life humans and therefore know their language.

Dirnin:  This guy is loony!  He acts as though he is not human.

Piccolo:  Special Beam Cannon Fire!

Vegita:  Oh, no!  He attacked!  This is a very dangerous weapon that he has here.  Allow me to catch it to show you.

    Vegita catches the beam cannon.  He holds it up and examines it.

Vegita:  This baby could wipe out an entire planet!  What might!  Allow me to demonstrate.

    Vegita raises his arm and prepares to drop the attack.  Piccolo freaks and dives under the falling attack.  Piccolo is blown into Painsville while Vegita laughs.

Vegita:  Nameks are very stupid.  Case in point here.  This one is fairly ugly, too!

    Vegita moves on and comes to a cabin.  Tien and Chaozou are sitting outside.

Vegita:  The triclops here is harmless.  Well, his looks might do some harm.  But we aren’t here for him.

    Vegita tosses Tien away and picks Chaozou up by the head.  Chaozou squirms but Vegita holds him.

Vegita:  This sucker is very dangerous.  Let’s break down his weapons.  He is butt ugly, which can render enemies helpless.  He is poisionous.  Just by touching him I am risking severe bacterial invasion, which can be fatal.  Also, his voice is enough to drive you mad!  And lastly, he is just plain scary.

    Chaozou is in tears.  Vegita tosses him to the ground and blasts him.  Vegita walks on.  Dirnin follows Vegita, but stops when Chaozou grabs his leg.  Dirnin looks at the burnt thing and gives it a sorry look.

Chaozou:  Help me.

    Dirnin suddenly realizes that everything Vegita said was true.  He kicks Chaozou over the horizon.

    Vegita continues on and Dirnin follows.  They come to a clearing, where Goku is sparring with Krillin.

Vegita:  Careful, these two appear to be strong.  But I think that they are too stupid to cause harm.

Krillin:  Hey, Vegita!

Goku:  Hi!  Want to spar?

Vegita:  This is very important.  Baldy is a human.  He is weak.  He cannot survive much of a beating.

    Vegita blasts Krillin, knocking the warrior out.  Dirnin mumbles something.

Goku:  Vegita!  Why did you do that?

Vegita:  This is one of the most powerful animals in existence.  In fact, he, like me, is a Saiya-jin.  However, the difference between him and me is that I have an IQ.

Dirnin:  He claims to be an alien!

    Goku powers up to SSJ4.  Vegita does the same.

Dirnin:  Holy smokes!  I have no idea what they are doing!  This is incredible!  It looks dangerous, so I will get closer.

    Vegita and Goku go at it.  Goku begins to beat on Vegita badly.  Vegita powers down.

Vegita:  I don’t know why, but I powered down.  This better add danger!

    Goku begins to dish out punishment.  Suddenly, Vegita remembers something.

Vegita:  This creature is known as Goku, but his real name is Kakkorratt.  I call him Bakarratt because of the following.  Kakkorratt, what is 1+1?

Goku:  Um…uh…

    Goku powers down to think.  Vegita sneaks away.  Dirnin follows.

Vegita:  This concludes today’s episode of ‘Crocodile Chaser!’

Dirnin:  Holy crap!  I think he was insulting me!

    Vegita flies off.

    Back in Vegita’s living room, everyone was laughing himself or herself stupid.  Well, almost everyone.  Vegita was at Animal World’s studio hunting Dirnin down.

Dirnin:  (From a hidden spot) Now this is real danger, not rigged stuff!  Security!  Stunt double!

    Goku comes on and beats the tar out of Vegita for insulting him on television.  Piccolo comes on and beats more crap out of Vegita.

Piccolo:  Take this, you low-life Baka!

Vegita:  Dang!  I don’t remember doing this!  All I am here for is because this human filmed me!

Piccolo:  Huh?

Vegita:  I hate cameras!

    Piccolo and Goku go back to killing Vegita, painfully.

Bulma:  Weird.  He isn’t scared of Goku’s power, but he is scared of my food!

Dirnin:  Tune in next time when I…

Someone:  Your stunt man!

Dirnin:  Dang, now my secret is out!  Thanks, Dirnin!  Now I have ruined my reputation!  Anyone have a Chaozou?  I need to hit something!  Wait, I can’t move!

    Dirnin comes out of hiding, and moves into the middle of Vegita’s beating.

Dirnin:  Why can’t I move?  Why am I driven to this fight?  Oh, no!  My stunt double is getting revenge!  Stunt double!  I am not the one that pays you to do dumb things!

    Vegita suddenly hits Dirnin.

Vegita:  Baka.

Piccolo:  Yeah, he is.

Goku:  I am hungry.

Piccolo:  Well, since Vegita did do so much emotional damage to Chaozou…burgers on me!