Kami, the god of Earth, Piccolo’s other half, was nervously sitting in the seat.  So far the live interview with the talk-show host had been fine.  He had almost drowned in his egotistical ramblings.  Heck, the only reason he agreed to do the interview was so he could brag about being god.  But now things were getting not-so-fun.

“So tell me,” the host said.  “You said you are from a planet called Namek.  What is Namek like?”

“Uh…I don’t really know,” Kami said.  “Can we please get back to my godhood?”

“Well, one more question.  Many people called us before this interview to submit questions.  A very common one is, ‘If you are the god of Earth, then how come there are religions?’”

    Kami gulped.  He was in deep horse-stuff and sinking fast.  He nervously glanced over at the clock.  He still had five minutes before the next commercial break.

“Come on Kami!  Tell them!” Korin shouted from the audience.

“Be quiet you little cat, or I will…” Kami threatened.

“…Use your godliness to hurt me?” Korin asked.  “Hmm…I doubt that.  Explain religion.  I mean, you can do it or admit that you aren’t really god…Are you an imposter?  Are there other gods?”

“I am THE god!” Kami shouted.  “I am Kami!”

“Well, please explain religion, then,” the host said.

“Kami, it isn’t anything to be ashamed of,” Popo mentally whispered.

“Well…it all started about one hundred years after I became Kami.  Popo and I…”

“Excuse me, Kami, but I had no part in this!” Popo defensively exclaimed.

“You did too!  If you listen to my story you will realize that you did!” Kami shouted.  “Now shut up!”

“If you do anything to soil my image, I will have Piccolo throw you off of the lookout!” Popo threatened.

“He wouldn’t!  Besides, I am god!  I can stop him easily!”

“Let’s get back to the religion,” the host said.

“Fine,” Kami said.  “One day, Popo and I were really bored.  So, to pass the time, we played a little game.  Truth or Dare.  It eventually came to Popo daring me to try his new food.  Now, Popo has notoriously horrible cooking.  But he threatened to get Kaio on my butt for turning the dead birds into flying cows.  So, I ate it.”

“Popo…what the…?” the host asked.

    Popo walked out of the building cursing.  Kami hadn’t used the story that was usually told.

“Anyways, he had laced it with multiple drugs.  I naturally got really screwed up.  I don’t remember anything after that.”

    Popo walked back into the building, Piccolo following.

“Popo!  Get him out!” Kami shouted.

“Old man, tell them the rest,” Piccolo growled.

“Well…uh…I kind of…umm…I really don’t remember,” Kami said.

“Old man, do it,” Piccolo growled.

“Okay!” Kami squeaked.  “The drugs didn’t wear off for a long time.  So, I wandered around the world doing godly things.  It’s just that…I…”

“Multiple personalities!” Korin cheered.

“I hate you, cat!” Kami shouted.

“Come get me, god boy!” Korin taunted.  Kami began to chase him around the studio.

“Kami got smashed.  He went around being a warped god,” Piccolo said.  “Essentially, he started all of the religions.  He went around doing god stuff, but everywhere he went he had another personality in control.”

“I did not!” Kami said.

“What really happened?” the host asked.

    King Kaio’s image appeared in the studio.  He was projecting a message mentally.

“Allow me to clear things up.  By the way, I am Kami’s god.  Compared to me he is mortal trash.  Him and I will discuss his godliness later.  Anyways, to be simple, Namekians and drugs don’t mix.”  King Kaio chuckled.

“You blue insect!  That is not true!” Kami shouted.

“Can no one tell the real story?” Kaioshin asked.  He walked out from the audience.  “Kami, King Kaio and I all went out after a long day.  We were having non-alcoholic beverages at a God’s bar.  Popo disguised himself as the bartender and slipped us all weird drugs.  We ended up having a contest to see who could manipulate the most humans.  Popo is evil!”

    Everyone glared at Popo.  He turned away to run, but Piccolo lifted him up.

“You are all so wrong!” Gregory screamed.  “I hired Popo to do that stuff.  I, however, convinced you that you were all going to die unless you shaped the Earth in my image!  But you idiots couldn’t do that right!”

“Excuse me, but I think I see the problem here,” the host said.  “Unless I am greatly mistaken, I am looking at three gods and a flying cricket?”

“Yes,” Kami said.

“So, maybe religion is just different people worshipping a different one of the gods?” the host asked.

“I think religion is the fault of a smashed Kami!” Piccolo declared.

“It is not!  I don’t even know what happened!” Kami shouted.

“I say Popo did it!” Kaioshin said.

“Shut up!” the host screamed.  “Okay, obviously you all have the memory of a subatomic particle!”

    The Kami of Planet Namek, a human, appeared.

“Okay!” the Kami of Namek said.  “I saw the whole thing!  Back a long time ago, we were all very competitive to see who could be the coolest.  Kaioshin was always winning.  Well, one day Earth’s Kami and I thought up a way to beat him.  We manipulated a bunch of people to worship our everything.  Kaioshin didn’t have that.  He got mad and drugged Kami of Earth, forgetting about me.  At any rate, Kami of Earth thought he was two hundred-gods.  That should explain everything.”

    Korin snuck away to make more drugs.  Bubbles appeared and walked out into the street, where all of the people he passed bowed and made offerings.