Melvin Beverly Ginyu was pathetic.  He was five feet tall and weighed less than a feather and was as thin as a thread.  His face was covered with freckles and scars from bullies.  He wore HUGE black, square glasses.  His hair was very short, and his front teeth were humongous.  In his front shirt pocket he had a pocket protector big enough to hold an elephant.  It was packed with equipment.  He wore short brown pants, a white tee shirt, and dress shoes over white socks.

    Melvin worked at a local newspaper, holding the worst job of all.  He was the assistant to the assistant to the assistant of the woman who put fresh rolls of toilet paper in the bathrooms.

    One day, while carrying some toilet paper to his boss’s office in the bathroom closet, he bumped into the editor-in-chief.  The toilet paper spilled everywhere, rolling across the newsroom’s floor.

“What the heck did you do that for?” the editor demanded, in a very deep, menacing voice.  He was six feet tall and very muscular.  He wore a perfect black suit.

“Uh, sorry sir,” Melvin stammered in his high-pitched, squeaky voice.  He fell backwards onto his rear end.  He looked up into the editor’s cold eyes.

“I am going to kill you!” the editor shouted, picking Melvin up by his neck.  Pulling Melvin close to his face, the editor roared in Melvin’s face.  Melvin fainted. 

    The editor threw Melvin into the ceiling.  As Melvin hit the floor, the editor kicked him into the wall.  Melvin was jolted awake.  Melvin propped himself up, staring at the editor.

    The editor reached for his belt and pulled out a gun.  He aimed it for Melvin’s shaky head.

“Oh, God!” Melvin screeched.

    The editor fired the gun.  As the bullet raced towards Melvin, a childhood memory came into his mind.  He always imagined himself getting into someone else’s body when he was in trouble.

“Change, now!” Melvin stammered, the words that he would speak to change in his mind.

    Melvin’s mouth opened wide and a yellow ball of energy shot out of it.  The ball crashed into the editor’s now open mouth.  The two bodies were frozen in place.  After a moment, a bright flash of light knocked the two bodies into opposite walls.

    The newsroom was silent, all eyes on the editor and Melvin.  Melvin, now in the editor’s body, stood up.

“Am I dead?” he asked.  He was shocked by the change in his voice.  He looked down at his feet and noticed the change.  “What the heck happened?” he asked himself.

    The editor stirred and looked over at his body.  “What the heck?” he demanded, jumping up.  “Ouch!  Dang!  I am in pain!”  He looked down at his feet, then up at Melvin.  Then at the bullet wound.

“You okay, weakling?” Melvin asked the editor.

“I won’t live this way,” the editor calmly said.  He walked over to the gun and picked it up off of the floor.  Aiming it at his head, he fired.  He fell to the floor dead.

“Headline!” said one of the people in the newsroom.  “Our editor kills twenty-sixth person!”  A small laughter went through the newsroom.

“I am taking the day off,” Melvin said.  He walked out of the building.

    The next morning, Melvin awoke early.  He was confused.  “How did I get home?” he asked himself.  He vaguely remembered something about nine hundred drinks.  He tried to move.

“Oh, good!  You are up!” a nurse said, walking into the room.

“Who are you and why are you in my house?” Melvin asked.

“House?  This is the hospital,” the nurse said.  “You must have a serious hang-over.”

“How did I get here?” Melvin asked.

“After you were found on the park bench by the officer, well, he brought you here.”  The nurse went to a closet and looked for something.

“Why did he bring me here?” Melvin asked.

“Well, Mr. Editor…” the nurse said.  Melvin realized that he must have changed bodies with the editor and no one had noticed.  He thought that he was dreaming at first.  The nurse continued, “…he followed you through the streets all night.  He said you were mumbling about being insane.  After you had a couple more drinks, you collapsed in the park.”

“Oh,” Melvin said.

“Yeah,” the nurse said.

“Okay, bye,” Melvin said, getting out of the bed.  He realized that he still had his clothes on.  He ran straight to his house and collapsed on his bed.  He thought for hours, until he fell asleep.

    After several months of controlling the newspaper, he got bored.  He sold the paper to some alien named Bob.  He sold his apartment, the editor’s house, the editor’s possessions, and the editor’s wife.  She didn’t put up a fight.

    Melvin, realizing that his new body was in good condition, made a decision.  He had always wanted to do it.  He walked over to the ballet studio.

“Hello.  May I help you?” the receptionist, a Miss Edible, asked.

“I want to take ballet,” Melvin flatly stated.

“Any previous experience?” the woman asked.

“No.  However, all of my life I have dreamed of becoming a world famous ballet dancer.”  Melvin’s eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, gosh!  Not you!” a man said, walking to Melvin.  The man was wearing a pink tutu.  The man was well built.  He had a feminine voice.  “Mr. Editor, you ran a horrid story that called my school awful!  I don’t want you here!”

“What?” Melvin shouted, so loud that the man was knocked back.

“You heard me,” the startled man said.  By now, the receptionist had snuck out of the building.

“What?  You deny me, Melvin Beverly…”  Melvin realized his mistake.

“Melvin?” the man asked.  “You mean you aren’t editor Food?”

“I am going to kill you!” Melvin shouted, charging the man.  He stopped himself abruptly, an idea sinking into his head.

“Sure, Beverly,” the man said.  Melvin caught sight of a metal nametag on the man.

“Okay, Kelly!” Melvin shouted.  “I wonder if this will work,” Melvin thought.  “Change, now!” Melvin shouted.

“What the heck?” Kelly asked, realizing that he was in the editor’s body.

“It worked!” Melvin shouted, jumping up and down.  “Yes!  At last!”

“What the heck did you do?” Kelly demanded.

    Melvin noticed a cop walking outside.  “Nice windows,” Melvin said.

“Yeah, they are,” Kelly said.

“Officer!” Melvin shouted at the top of his lungs.  The officer jumped, and then looked through the window.

“You are banned from this place!” the officer said, bursting through the doors.  He dragged Kelly out, thinking him the editor.  “We don’t want a cheese war this time,” the officer said.

“That was just weird,” Melvin said.

    For the next year, Melvin spent all of his time with the ballet instructors.  However, he grew bored of ballet.  He left the city to contemplate his newly discovered ability.

    One day, he was walking along a farm road, coming to the end of his sanity.  Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something.

“A cow!” Melvin happily shouted.  His eyes went wide.

“Moo!” went the startled cow.

“I think I will further test my abilities in order to learn more about my powers,” Melvin said.  Looking at the cow, he said, “Change now!”

“Yes!” Melvin exclaimed, realizing that he was now a cow.

“Moo, I mean, finally!” the cow said.  “I was so sick of that farm!”  The cow walked away, only to be hit by a hot-air-balloon a short time later.

    Temporarily satisfied with himself, Melvin stayed in the cow’s body for six weeks.  Realizing that cows could speak, Melvin switched bodies with a pig, duck, and the farm’s elephant.

    While an elephant, Melvin was severely abused, so much, in fact, that all he remembered of the next ten years was his other bodies.  He was a cheese ball (they must be alive!), the pope, the President of the United States of America, Minnesota’s governor, a frog, a snail, a man-eating gnat, a rose, and a mugger named Tim.

    Eventually, Melvin stumbled onto Zarbon’s father, changing bodies with him.  Because of this, Melvin had many encounters with a Captain Ginshu.  After much thought, Melvin changed into Freiza’s assistant’s body, Ginshu.  Calling himself Ginyu, Melvin used his strong body to wreak havok

    Eventually, Goku beat the crap out of him, turned him into a frog, and then Vegita ACCIDENTLY stepped on him, killing him.